Sex addiction

The Hypersexuality - colloquial Sex addiction - indicates an increased desire for sex or sexual activity. Medicine, psychology and sexology have been dealing more and more with this topic in recent years. The causes are of different nature, it is difficult to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy behavior.

What is sex addiction?

A scientific definition for the term Sex addiction, does not exist yet. Only increased sexual desire is recognized as a sexual disorder.

Whether or not there is a sex addiction is mainly defined by the feelings of the person affected. There is no rule when sex becomes too much, so the question is whether the person affected has a problem with their behavior. People who suffer from sex addiction have an excessive, extreme urge to engage in sexual activity, which restricts them in their lives.

The thoughts of those affected no longer revolve around anything else, they are only looking and can no longer enjoy anything else. Often times, sex addicts' ability to orgasm and attachment are limited, which leads them to keep searching.

causes

The exact causes for a Sex addiction are not known. However, it is clear that there is always an interplay of several factors. In rare cases, there are physical causes, which can be a tumor in the adrenal cortex.

In the same way, various mental illnesses, such as manias, may be causal. Since sexuality is also learned, familial factors play a role. It is noticeable that sex addicts often come from families with alcohol abuse or other addictions. It has been proven that addictive behavior has a genetic disposition.

During sex, messenger substances are released in the body that have a positive effect on mood. Many sex addicts use games that involve fear or risk to increase the release of their own drugs. Childhood abuse can also be a cause of sex addiction. Affected people have learned that they can solve problems with sex and are available to partners without really being aware of their own needs.

An overwhelming, positive experience in early sexual experiences can also trigger sex addiction. Affected people are constantly looking for the repetition of this feeling.

Symptoms, ailments & signs

The primary sign of sex addiction is the constant desire for sexual contact. The desire is not satisfied by an experienced sexual act, but the desire for more sex remains permanently. This often leads to problems in a relationship. If the sex drive of both partners is permanently incompatible, dissatisfaction will arise sooner or later.

A typical symptom of addiction is desire, in this case for sex, which cannot be controlled rationally. Many people affected by sex addiction also visit to live out their desire for sexual contact outside of an existing partnership. If the partner does not consider this to be legitimate, jealousy, breach of trust and separation are usually the result.

But also those affected by sex addiction who do not live in a partnership sometimes take certain risks. Having a high number of sexual partners carries the risk of contracting an STD. In order to avoid the resulting discomfort, those affected must ensure that condoms are used strictly.

The same applies to the development of an unwanted pregnancy. Sex addiction is usually limited to the constant living out of the physical urge, but does not necessarily include the desire for a stable partnership or children. In order to avoid emotional problems for everyone involved, safe contraception is essential for sex addiction.

Diagnosis & course

A Sex addiction increases over years. It is typical that sexuality becomes less and less satisfying, its influence on everyday life greater and greater. The urge to live out one's sexuality becomes more and more difficult to control.

Typical signs are:

• More and more people are thinking about sex. Sex is also being practiced more and more. If this no longer takes place, fear and inner emptiness arise.

• Those affected have problems in their partnerships, an increased risk of infection with sexually transmitted diseases, and financial and professional difficulties often arise.

• There is a loss of control over behavior. Affected people try to expand their sexual activities, fail because of their lack of satisfaction, and ultimately display compulsive behavior that they can no longer break through.

• Sex addicts try to resolve conflicts and negative emotions with sex. This only works in the short term, and feelings of guilt often ensue.

• Sexuality determines the entire life of the person concerned, other duties are completely neglected.

• Often the sexual pleasure is disturbed.

Complications

Sex addiction leads to complications on several levels. For example, the constant pursuit of the addiction (if possible) leads to an increasing level of tolerance. It behaves in a similar way to that of addictive substances: the original stimulus is no longer sufficient to satisfy the addiction and so more extreme stimuli are sought.

This can manifest itself in acting out harder sexual practices, but can also end in sexual harassment, rape or even a sexually associated homicide. Sex addiction has corresponding legal consequences for those affected in such cases.

It is particularly serious when sex addicts also show paraphilia (pedophilia, coprophilia). Due to the lack of opportunities to act out, those affected develop evasive behavior here (intensive consumption of partly illegal pornography, visiting prostitutes who fulfill their wishes) and can also break legal limits here.

Conversely, there are cases in which sex addiction can be viewed as the basis for prostitution that is specifically exercised. In such cases, treating sex addiction is tantamount to losing one's financial base. Social decline is possible due to sex addiction. It can be caused by infidelities, financial ruin or criminal acts in this context.

In addition, sexually very active people are generally more likely to develop sexually transmitted diseases if adequate protection is not taken during the act.

When should you go to the doctor?

Sex addiction creates distress over time and this is the right time to seek medical help. At the latest when the person concerned realizes that he is a sex addict and therefore makes decisions that are not for his good, a doctor should be consulted. However, suffering from sex addiction occurs much earlier, before the person concerned begins to suffer from the disease himself, namely in the people directly affected by the sex addiction. These can be changing or fixed sexual partners.That alone can be enough for sex addicts to get help, even if they are not yet suffering from the situation themselves - they suffer from harming other people, which they do not want.

Those who can already accept help at this point are making the right decision for themselves and others. The contact person can be the general practitioner if sex addiction is suspected, but specialists such as gynecologists or urologists will also be able to deal with the problem. Ultimately, the treatment will have to be carried out by a psychologist or alternative practitioner. If you want to contact them directly, you can also do that, but you will have to wait a while for an appointment or bear the costs yourself. There are also good self-help groups for sex addicts who can make a valuable contribution to treatment or bridge waiting times.

Treatment & Therapy

If the person concerned is able to recognize his situation and also feels a correspondingly high level of suffering, therapy can help. Most often, cognitive behavioral therapy is used. Affected learn and understand how to get into the Sex addiction what the personal causes are and how they change their behavior.

In some cases, psychotropic drugs are used. The problem is that far too few therapists have really had experience in treating sex addiction. In addition to sex addiction, other mental illnesses may need treatment. The therapy aims to be able to experience intimacy without the connection with sexuality, which is why most therapies work with a phase of sexual abstinence at the beginning, in which there is no sexual activity with oneself or with a partner.

The meaning of this is that the affected person experiences negative feelings that can be worked through. Building a healthy relationship with yourself is paramount, as the relationship with yourself shapes relationships with others.

prevention

Prevention of sex addiction is basically not possible. The only thing that can help is to check yourself, your sexual behavior, your relationships with partners and ask yourself whether your own way of life is healthy, whether it differs from the way of life of other people, whether you have a problem with it and if so why.

Some former sex addicts visit a self-help group after therapy to exchange ideas with other sufferers. Such groups can provide a space to speak openly about the taboo subject of sex addiction. The group participants often support each other by giving each other tips or offering new perspectives. An essential function of self-help groups is to provide psychological relief.

Aftercare

Advice centers play an important role in outpatient aftercare after sex addiction therapy. Some of these organize self-help groups or other discussion groups. Some counseling centers also offer one-on-one interviews, which can take place regularly or as required.

Special contact points for sex addicts are rare - however, some addiction counseling services offer groups and interviews for behavioral addicts. In addition to game and internet addicts, these include sex addicts. Interested parties should, however, inquire with the respective provider in each individual case whether a certain aftercare offer is suitable for them.

In addition to advice centers, there are outpatient departments or specialist outpatient departments and clinics, which sometimes have similar outpatient services. Some clinics have their own aftercare program that patients can switch to after a stay in the clinic.

Sex addiction often leads to relationship conflicts. If the partnership problems have not yet been adequately addressed in the therapy, it can make sense to continue working on the partnership after the actual treatment - if necessary with the support of a counselor, coach or therapist.

You can do that yourself

Most importantly, the admission that sex addiction creates problems. If this basic requirement is not met, experience has shown that a patient will not consistently follow a treatment. This also cannot achieve the goal of self-treatment of controlling one's own sexuality.

The exchange with the immediate environment and other affected persons is recommended. Because just like with alcoholism, there is an increased risk of relapse. Being open can be difficult at first. This is particularly true of one's own partner. It is important not to make certain behaviors taboo. Group meetings have proven to be successful. Several sick people take part, describe their experiences and develop coping strategies. Continuous discussion should lead to an improvement.

Sex addiction even leads to crime in extreme cases. Voyeurism and exhibitionism represent forms that hurt other people. If they have occurred, patients should not do without self-treatment; however, the focus must be on professional therapy. In these cases a stage has been reached that is deeply anchored in the psyche and requires medical supervision.