Every child reacts defiantly once. This is particularly annoying for the parents. Some are overwhelmed with their child's behavior. However, you should keep calm. In the Defiance phase it is a development process. Every child goes through this. Readers will find out what this is all about and how parents behave correctly within this time in the following sections.
Favorite word "No" - what does the defiance phase mean?
Usually the Defiance phase of the child at the age of 2 and slowly fades away after reaching the age of 4. Previous generations used the word 'defiance' for negative behavior in the child. The phase can now be justified scientifically. During this time, the child goes through an important phase of self-assertion.
Based on this knowledge, the defiance phase is now also called Autonomy phase designated. The defiance phase is related to the child's language development. In this phase the child asks a particularly large number of questions. Children are already subject to the ratings of adults.
If questions are answered with "yes", this gives the child a positive feeling. Conversely, answers with “no” lead to negative emotions. The logical part of the child's brain is not active during a stress response. A conversation with the child becomes impossible. There is defiance.
When the child is raging
Defiant behavior is uncomfortable for parents. Especially in the supermarket or in public facilities. Bystanders look critically. You suspect poor upbringing behind the child's behavior. This critical observation by others decreases parental self-esteem and increases one's own anger towards the child. As a result, parents react overwrought. A circumstance that leads to further tantrums. As a rule, the child always wants what parents deny. It tests its limits.
How can parents deal with it
An efficient method is the formation of concise sentences. In his defiant phase, the child's left brain does not function as usual. What has been said should be repeated. The child's behavior must be made aware of. In this way, it can usually be distracted relatively quickly. In many cases, comfort is in order. The child does not feel well and needs the love of their parents. It is appropriate to suggest understanding.
Stay relaxed
Many parents are tense when they enter the defiance phase. They fear the reaction of the outside world and try to prevent tantrums from breaking out in the child. Children have very good perception. You notice the parents' inner restlessness. This also makes them uncomfortable. As a result of their insecurity, they continue to behave defiantly.
Parents need to keep calm. You shouldn't let the outside world influence you. All parents know these conditions. The child's behavior is not due to their own shortcomings. It is biological and cannot be eliminated even with the best education.
The child needs to be close to the parents
Parents are not allowed to take the child's behavior personally. You always have to give the child the love you are used to - even in this phase. The child should be able to feel the parental closeness. The phase can be mastered together. A child needs a helping hand. It has little experience and is in a learning phase. Parents can go on a voyage of discovery with their offspring, take them seriously and fool the child.
Insist on the most necessary rules
Every individual has their own will. It is important to respect this. However, not every request of the child can be met. In this case the most necessary rules must be followed. The child has to know his limits. This needs to be clarified. Those who deal with it inconsistently will have a child with persistent defiant behavior.
Scolding doesn't help
Some parents are absolutely overwhelmed when their child has tantrums. You yell at your child or scold him. The minds are heated. In this situation, no agreement can be reached. It is to be kept calm. Those who stay calm will also be able to calm the child. After a while the excitement subsides. This approach can lead to great success. Parents protect the child and reduce their own stress level. It is imperative to refrain from using force.
The struggle for autonomy
The defiant phase actually represents a positive development. It is the first step towards independence for the child. This is where the child's character and will can be recognized for the first time. The offspring grows into an independent being. He rebels against the establishment of laws and parental behavior. During this time, the development of the self must be encouraged.
In this way, it grows into a confident person who can later assert himself in public. This process is of enormous importance, especially for school days. Anyone who sits anxiously in the corner and doesn't dare to say anything will be marginalized. During the period of defiance, parents lay the foundation for the child's overall development. You can have a positive influence on this stage of development. To do this, they must learn to understand the child and take their wishes seriously.
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